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The Majick website FAQ
The site
Q. What is an FAQ?
A. It stands for Frequently Asked Questions. Or, if you are Terence, Finagled Antiquated Quandaries.
Q. Who is Terence?
A. One of my friends, but we're not here to talk about him. We're here to talk about me.
Q. And you are...?
A. Mike. Nice to meet you.
Q. OK, so why 'Majick' then?
A. Good question. In fact, probably the most frequently asked of all the FAQ's received.
Q. So?
A. So what...?
Q. So, why Majick?
A. Umm....
Q. You don't know?
A. Well, it's not a childhood nickname, I know that. Apparently it's a corruption of 'magic' in various fantasy novels, but that's not my bag, so I didn't get it there. I only found two references to it on the internet, so it's not a word in common usage. Simple truth is, I needed a regular nickname to trawl the internet under, and 'Majick' is what I came up with. Despite my occasional claims, it's not deliberately made up of my letter's from my full name (Michael James Chalk). That's just a coincidence.
Q. When and why did you set up the site?
A. The when is February 2000, when I had a free Sunday afternoon. I'd signed up for free webspace at a third party website, but only when I came to creating the site did I realise the problems I would face.
Q. Why the long website address?
A. There shouldn't be one, if you're using the site this FAQ is on, but assuming you're stuck at the chattown site, then that's one of the problems. Eventually, I started to develop RSI from typing in http://www.chattown.com/home/teen/majick/whatever.htm every time I wanted to create a new link. As you would. So I scouted around for a better provider. Freeservers, my current host, even allowed me the luxury of a website with a no-prefix homepage, plain old majick.iwarp.com. Nice and simple.
Q. What was it like in the beginning?
A. Basic. No pictures, only about six or seven pages, where there are now more than thirty. The links also generally didn't work, and I didn't update very often.
Terence and Diana laugh as Matt tries the 'This big!' line...
Q. For about seven weeks, at one point.Not to mention the recent gap...
A. That's not a question, but okay. I broke my wrist at the start of March, and couldn't type very well. Only after physiotherapy could I type again. Truth be told, even now I'm still in some pain from it. *Stiffens upper lip.* I now update about once or twice a week, with bigger updates, consisting of new pages, major overhauls or expansions, occurring about every two months.
At least, that was true back last year. Now, I must admit, my passion for this site is on the wae. I'm happy to run it, and update occasionally, but probably I'll be saving updates up for a blitz every month or so. Being away from uni has dulled my creative juices, and until and unless I'm able to put regular work into the site, it'll be only occasionaly updated.
Q. When did the site start to take off?
A. Mid-June in 2000, with the addition of Diana Rees' profile. My line about Matt's maturity levels was duly worshipped by one and all, and I set out to try and replicate that moment of genius.
Q. And have you?
A. No, but I like to think that the site is still quite funny. With lot's of pictures of beautiful women.
Q. Why are they in here, by the way?
A. My website, and I put in what I want. One of the reasons of adding a menu at the bottom of each screen was so you can skip the bit's you don't like. Do be fair, I have recently balanced the babes with a handful of blokes, including a fistful of Cat's faves to balance the single picture of Brittany.
Q. What's your favourite/least favourite section?
A. Personally, I like the songs section, and dislike the dark section. I don't like being nasty about anyone, but having somewhere to vent is useful.
Moments later, Jay does a much better 'This big!' and Matt is forced to admit he wants a taste of Jay's whopper...
(I did mention that Matt and Jay are keen fishermen, didn't I?)
Q. And the most popular/least popular with visitors?
A. Most popular is definitely the friends section, probably because virtually everyone who visits the site is in there, and they like to tell me what they think of it. As for least popular, I'd say probably the places section, which no-one ever comments on, and needs a drastic overhaul
Q. What was with the 'ranking' of your friends two years back?
A. A one week experiment that produced the desired effect, and so I kept it around.
Q. And the desired effect was?
A. To get lots of people to visit my site.
Q. What are your, and your visitors' favourite songs?
A. Most often, the people in the songs quite like them, if only because it's not every day someone writes a song about you. However, I've had adverse comments about Rollercoaster, mainly because of the implied smuttiness in it. I guess that's most people's least favourite song. As for favourites, Freedom tends to go down well, while I like Rollercoaster at least. I'm also fond of Copacabana, and have written two versions of it (the second can be found here) Also, Matt and Diana 'commissioned' me to rewrite their favourite song to make it about them, and the results of that can be found here.
Q. How many visitors do you get?
A. I know now! Yay... According to my counter, I'm getting in the region of 15 visits a week, and rising. There were a hundred visits to my site about five weeks after opening. I've visited the home page (and therefore been counted on the counter) twenty-three times as of 10.9.01. There have now been more than five hundred visitors, a figure I'm frankly amazed at.
Q. Do you make any money from the site?
A. Not at the moment. I am considering selling advertising space on my new site, but it's a hell of a lot of hassle for very little gain. For the foreseeable future, it's a labour of love.
Q. Wahhh! Where's the news updates gone?
A. Far, far away... The colour scheme would have clashed with the new look for the site, so I had to take them down for a time. They were provided free of charge by one of the Freeservers affiliates, but I'm no longer aware of them being available.
Q. And what's with all the photos?
A. If you spent the amount of money I did on a scanner, you'd want to get some use out of it as well. They're photos from the last three years or so, with more to come as time goes on. They may well add to the loading time of the pages, but who cares? People an now look at hemselves on the internet. It's a strangely fulfilling experience...
The man behind the site
Q. Can we see what you look like?
A. here is now a photo on the front page of me, as well as some on the Kintbury pages.
Q. You don't like cameras, do you?
A. No. They flash, and remove any hint of attractiveness from my face. Bye bye tan, bye bye half decent goatee, hello half white, half pink monstrosity. This may be what every one else sees all the time, but, importantly, it's not what I see when I look in he mirror.
Q. Are you interesting enough to have a website devoted to you?
A. Not when it's just about me, but I've put enuogh other stuff on here to try and keep people focussed.
Q. What made you write songs about people?
A. Once I got a tune in my head, it would either bounce around all day, or match up with one of my friends. It seemed a shame not to record some of them. Sady, the Muse has apparently passed on, and I've had no real inclination to write -or re-write- songs for several months now.
Q. Do you write other stuff as well?
A. Yes, I do. Mainly Star Wars fanfic at the mo, examples of which can be found at the Antilles page of this site. However, I could start to write other stuff were I to ever get the chance. Who knows what the future holds?
Q. Describe yourself in three words.
A. Blunt. Shy. Lazy.
Q. And you have friends how?
A. Fourth word. Lucky.
Q. What do you look like?
A. Stats: I'm 6'1, with brown hair and bluey eyes. I've put on weight recently, thanks to double back surgery *scowl* but once I start work, I'll hopefully be able to get down to my local gym and start working my way back to shapeliness.
Q. Any special person in your life right now?
A. Not really. I'm 22, and have been single for nearly three years. That's pretty sad, so any ladies who might take an interest are invited to get in touch...
Q. What else is going on in your life?
A. Actualy quite a lot. I'm learning to play guitar now, and having graduated from university, I'm looking for work. Possibly those things aren't in *quite* the right order...
Q. What's your background?
A. Anglo-Irish or Iro-English, Roman Catholic, nice home, nice schools, easy life millions would kill for. I'm a lucky boy.
Q. What's with your obsession with jam?
A. 'Q, these trousers that turn into jam, what were you thinking?' - Eddie Izzard
Q. Desert Island Discs time: 5 singles
I Touch Myself - Devinyls, Elephant Love Medley - Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman, Say Hello, Wave Goodbye by David Grey, Birdhouse In Your Soul by They Might Be Giants, and Chained To You by Savage Garden.
Of course, that doesn't even really scratch the surface of the music I love...
Q. 5 Books?
A. Maskerade, and Jingo, by Terry Pratchett; Have A Nice Day, by Mick Foley; High Fidelity, by Nick Hornby; and Notes From A Big Country, by Bill Bryson.
Again, that's the barest glimpse into my literary taste.
Q. One luxury item?
A. It would have to be my trenchcoat now.
Q. Trenchcoat?
A. Oh, yeah... My black, leather, knee length, I've-waited-five-years-for-this trenchcoat
Q. What do you consider your worst personality trait?
A. I never, ever, think before I speak.
Q. And your best?
A. My memory, which allows me to recall countless minutiae about my friends and family. Makes me seem like I actually care. ;-) Also, according to Cat, I try, whatever that means. Apparently it's a good thing.
Q. Any obscure facts about you that no-one knows?
A. When I was born, my lungs didn't work properly, and I had to go into an incubator. Also, I had a squint in my left eye which was operated on when I was one, and so I have very poor vision on that side.
Q. Fairly obscure.
A. I thought so.
Q. Any closing words?
A. Some of the A*Teens songs are actually not as bad as you might think.
Q. No way!
A. Those aren't closing words now. Do I get another go?
Q. Um... Okay.
A. There's always a little more toothpaste in the tube.
The randomness
Q. Jam
A. And a very merry jam to you to.
Q. I'm not very good with numbers.
A. Bdoom, tshih
Q. Your mum...
A. ...and chips.
Q. Two eggs in a frying pan...
A. One says 'hot in here, ain't it?'
Q. The other says?
A. 'Ahhh! A talking egg!'
Q. Two goldfish in a tank.
A. One says to the other, 'How do you drive this thing, then?'
Q. Two nuns in a bath. One of them says, 'Where's the soap?'
A. The other one says, 'Yes, I suppose it does.'
Q. Enough?
A. For now...
Home. Favourites. Friends. Songs. Places. News. Perfect Men. Perfect Women. Theories. Dark Majick. Quotes. The Future. FAQ. Wedge Antilles. Alternative Bible. Philosophy. Wrestling. University Reports. Guestbook. Questions. Links. Kintbury 2000. Kintbury 2001. Cyprus. Rhodes. Kintbury 2002. Unmarked Territory.
Got a comment about the site? Send me an email here